Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
