You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
