oh god the rape fog is back!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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