We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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