All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
