seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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