Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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