what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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