My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
