College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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