So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
