chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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