did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
