i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize