He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
