she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
