Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
