She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
