yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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