Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
