Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
