Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
