singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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