i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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