i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
