Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I could fuck to npr.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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