hotel room ftw
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
