I must be too annoying 4 u.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
