I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
