honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
