I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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