drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
