His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
