babies were throwing up all over the place
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think i got beer on your cat.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
