Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
