I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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