so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
