i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
