she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
