NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
