she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
time to smoke my breakfast
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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