There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
