trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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