She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
