I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
