I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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