I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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