someone get that fucking seahorse.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I need water and some morals
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
