I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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