party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
