Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
